I think you might be in a kind of therapy that isn't really what you want. Or need.

My therapy is just talking. No homework, no guilting by the therapist or her making accusations about my desire to change; for her, therapy is done at the pace that is comfortable for the patient. Gosh, I said little and mostly cried for the first 9 months, and she encouraged me patiently, just giving me space to "be".

I wouldn't like being your therapist's client. She throws obstacles in a person's path, and I don't see how that can be helpful. Her approach isn't what I would want to be part of.

You are doing nothing wrong. At all. You are being you, and therapy should be a place to be you.