I am sorry you are hurting so much. This may be hard to hear but if you could step back from your feelings for a moment and see how kind it was of your T to try and help your family through this crisis...yes, she is YOUR T but in trying to help your H, she was trying to improve your situation. When I think of the T's who wouldn't even call back in a crisis, let alone get on the phone with a spouse for almost and hour...well, I think your T sounds like she must care a tremendous amount for you and the pain you are in. I don't see this as her going against you at all and I don't see this is a rupture beyond repair. You have 6 years in with this T, I think its more important to be asking yourself, in the big picture, has this therapy helped with your BPD?