i been to many hospitals where staff seemed to hate their job. sometimes being there you forget they are people too. and a few of them had mental illness of their own i would eventually find out. one male nurse i found out had tourettes disorder and had various facial tics. most of them its not hard to find out about stuff about them because the amount of gossip that goes on or the amount of talking they do in between times or during downtime. you really start thinking about who goes into this type of work and why. much of the staff is just as messed up as many of the patients.

i have serious hygiene problems which is a symptom of my schiz and at one hospital they would get on me constantly because i did not take a shower. borderline insulting me telling me how much i stink and make faces at me and to each other and behind my back (or so they thought). another hospital would tell everyone if they didnt shower for more than two days they would "hold you down and make you take a shower". i just attributed the difference to one hospital being more upscale and not seeing too many severe patients because of the problems of the patients were mostly depression/anxiety or fleeting drug use. the other hospital mostly served the homeless and severely drug addled or poor. so the mental problems were extreme there.

idk i just have so many stories.

but its hard to find programs. where i am anyway. hah political rant. idk what to think. im in a state that ranks the lowest in mental health care in the USA. 49th or 50th place. so its hard to find good treatment but at the same time in some places theres little help to begin with. im in a place that has little to begin with. cause i live in the rural.