'I have an aversion to touch. I just do not like it. I crave it and need it when I'm upset but don't ask for it or don't want it because I just don't want any part of it.'

It intruiges me how you both crave and detest being touched. I'm much the same. I always have a lust to be touched and cared for by people but at the same time it really creeps me out and I don't want it. Ive thought maybe I want it off some but not others, bit like you say about it being specific to adult males. But to be honest I'm not sure. My abuse was complicated and involved a number of different people, different ages and sexes. So I can't narrow it down. I think its more the mindset I'm in at the time. A bit like what you said about when you're upset, you crave being touched. When I feel shakey or scared and when I talk about my past SA I always find myself folding in on my self and I dont want any one to touch me. But sometimes I do, I want to be touched in a normal way and learn what this is like and that its fine. But its still very hard to know where the line sits.

Sorry this is a bit of an aside from the original post but it interested me.