yes, sabra, it has the tendency to linger even months or years later. my therapist said it is not something to be too ashamed of, too bad it is easier said than done. i wish 'drunk me' hadn't made the decision to contact anyone... but it happened and now i have to deal with it. now that it's been a couple of days, i don't feel as embarrassed, but the feeling still comes in waves at times.

i do have a bit of a wall. in daily life i am quite guarded, so i still have a bit of a guard up with my therapist even though i know i should be spilling all. i'm sure it will take some time. part of my drinking was not being able to deal with and process all emotions properly, so that's something to work on.

it's good you got rid of your alcohol, camper. i know i can't drink any alcohol.. i'm not someone who can have a beer or a glass of wine. it's all or nothing, and i'm much happier with nothing. if you're similar to me, it's probably best not to drink. you should look into reading up on healthy vs unhealthy guilt. you recognize that you did something wrong and you should extend an apology to her. that's all you can really do, and if she doesn't accept your apology, then move on from it. once again, it's easier said than done, but there's only so much you can do.