And right now it's because some anonymous people online said some things to me that really shouldn't have affected me, because I (should) know myself better than they do. And they said these things to me because I was angry and depressed and said some things that I really shouldn't have said. Because they were honest things. Depressed things.

Realizing how pathetic this predicament is, I think "God... I really am a horrible person. I say horribly stupid things, I'm weak, I can't stand criticism and to top it all off I'm self-pitying. I must really deserve to die". My next thought is "I only fantasize about killing myself as an excuse for my addiction. I'm weak and I have to kill myself. I mean smoke pot. I mean...".

Now I feel guilty for making this thread. I'm sorry - honestly. (And I just shed the first tears in weeks or months because I really, really am so, so sorry, for all the bad things that I've done.) I make too many threads. I'm probably too self-absorbed, and obviously too negative. In fact I must be a very stupid person to say and think all of these stupid things when I should just keep my bad thoughts to myself and think positive instead. Seriously, what kind of a person reacts like this to something so insignificant?


By havesomehats: bunny 2 by ~havesomehats on deviantART