Whats going on?

Why do I keep hurting myself?

I dont even want to. I dont like the pain. I dont like looking at my cuts they make me feel sick. So why do I keep making my cuts deeper and deeper? I want them gone but I want.to do more and worse ones.not just these pathetic ones. Im scared. Im going to put a dressing over my arm so hopefully I'll leave it alone. I wish I.didnt have to set these boundadies for myself.

Does anyone.else not like the pain? I have to shut myself out of it and make myself cut because I dont want to.I dont want the pain but I want the cut I want to bleed but then I want.it gone.

Hellpp!