Today I'm able to see how clearly I have been paranoid and distrustful for most of my adult life. As my T said part of its the trauma, part environment, part of the illness. I have been emotionally abusive to ppl myself. When I feel misunderstood I get so frustrated toward one of my sister's. I'm going to write a letter to her. We are very different but nobody deserves to be treated as the enemy when they are trying to help. I feel so guilty.

That's what I need to tell her. But I've been here before....