I just wanted some clarifications on some things...

So, your relationship started out as a friends with benefits, and he had other friends with benefits at the same time. But then you started getting attached because he was bringing you around to family events and such. Then you tell him about your feelings and he says "Gotta go now" but then doesn't actually leave.

Now.. here's where I get confused. Did you guys have a long discussion and finally agree to be in a relationship? Do you still go to family functions with him, and does he introduce you as his girlfriend? Has he cut contact with all of his previous friends with benefits? You say he's made changes, what kind of changes has he made specifically? Can you pinpoint exactly what is bothering you? Is it that he was involved with others when you two weren't exclusive? Are there other behavioral issues that are bothering you? You say he doesn't get jealous and doesn't love you. Truly, jealousy isn't a great thing. And while love is desirable, if he says he doesn't know what love is, it might take him a long time to feel comfortable saying that he loves you. You could also look at it that you've only been together 5 months -- to me, that seems a fairly short time to start the "I love you"s in earnest... You're trying to build a relationship and getting to know each other still -- the real person, not the person that you just rolled around with in the sheets and said "see ya later" the next morning. And the fact that he is making changes, to me, speaks volumes of how he feels for you. Especially if he cut contact with the other girls he was benefiting with, so to speak...

I've been in that position where a lack of communication oh whether or not we were exclusive caused a lot of issues. It took me a long, long time to realize I was partly to blame. We weren't clear if we were together or not, so how could I expect him to act like we were? It was being unfair of me and overly demanding and critical of the situation. We're all human and make mistakes. And I have to agree, you weren't exclusive, so he didn't break any "rules" so to speak. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and maybe he should be more cognizant of your feelings, but he really doesn't have anything to apologize for, except maybe 'I'm sorry you feel that way. I wasn't trying to hurt you.'

Okay, but putting all that aside.. I'm a little concerned about your recent divorce. Perhaps you should be spending more time focusing on yourself and healing, rather than investing in new relationship that feel distressful to you. I also worry about how this relationship will affect your work life? If things do go completely sour, will you still have to see him everyday? What I'm trying to say, is focus on yourself right now. If it's not the right time for a relationship, that's fine. If it is, maybe he's not the one for you, maybe he is. Either way, that's okay. Take care of yourself, you are your number one priority in everything, be gentle and kind to yourself. You need a good friend right now, so be one to yourself.

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh at all. I didn't mean to be.

Please take care