To add...

G. knows that I went through this and asked me whether I had dreams or fantasies while on these drugs. I said: "No fantasies and about three erotic dreams over the course of three and a half years."

He then said: "So was it as if back in childhood?"

I said: "No, not at all.

When I was a child and saw a couple kissing outside, I knew very well that I would grow up to do that or something along those lines, too. It was all mine to have and I just needed to wait and I was perfectly OK with waiting.

When I was on those medications and saw couples outside, I did not UNDERSTAND what they were doing, why they were together, and what all of that meant. Just could not comprehend and relate in any way, on any level."

So basically the damage is not physical. It is not just that you cannot have orgasms. It is some very pervasive and deep damage to the brain.

And interestingly enough, the physical damage is easier and faster to fix. I first halved the dose of Geodon and recovered physical orgasms without any fantasy or drive (just completely mechanistic and uninteresting orgasms), then removed Geodon altogether and things got better and only now I can say that I am back to normal.