My mother was narcissistic with some borderline tendencies and I never knew what would please her. It is tough being raised by any parent with mental illness. They do their best, I would hope, but their illness does tend to come out in the parenting.

I have been in years of therapy, having developed some borderline tendencies myself. (My mother would threaten to leave us by joking about "going away with the bears.") That still felt like possible abandonment to a little kid. I am now no longer considered BPD, but then I developed bipolar disorder!

I do also recommend getting therapy, if you haven't. Of course, my mother wouldn't get any...... I also put both my sons in therapy, since I wasn't the healthiest mother myself.