Hello and Welcome to our little forum, Kayleigh. I am glad you found us and look forward to getting to know you better. Something you said struck me as something most of us have said early in our recovery. I used to believe that SI wasn't a problem. It made things better quickly. Helped me to cope and keep life running along and kept me so that I could fullfill all my obligations. It was a tool. Unfortunately, it isn't so benign. It is like alcohol. It can take away the pain for awhile but nothing ever gets taken care of and so the pain just remains hidden under the scars, festering and growing bigger. I have used Self injury since I was twelve. I am 36 now. I have come to realize that it is important to face the pain and not cover it up with SI. It is hard to do. It is hard to let go of this habit because it works, and it works quickly. But things just don't get better. I hope you will be able to find someone you can talk to, a school counsoler or a therapist. There is a good book that I have read that has some ideas for dealing with this, Secret Scars.
Oh no! I am going to be late to work. Gotta go,
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft