Welcome to the BPD forum. You have found a place with a lot of understanding of where you're coming from. I also like your idea that BPD is bad, not you. I personally like that there's a name for what's bothering me. Unfortunately, I also use the diagnosis to beat myself up, but it's validating to know that there's a reason for my negative thoughts, overwhelming feelings and behavior. Now if I could just get some motivation to do the work necessary to get better.