I'm really happy for those of you who have stopped hurting yourselves. Really, that's wonderful! I admire you so much. Can you tell me what motivated you to stop? Some feel so bad about giving in to it. Why? If you feel bad about about self-injuring, then you just wind up feeling worse and it becomes a vicious circle. I have felt bad sometimes because other people are hurt about me doing things to myself, but I don't feel bad about it for my own sake.

When I have tried to stop, it was because somebody else wanted me to stop, or because I felt bad about the trouble that I had caused someone, particularly my husband. But SI (one method or another) has always been part of my life, and I have never really wanted to change that. Now I have gotten to the point where I can pick up a knife and cut myself for no reason whatsoever, even when I'm not feeling depressed. It could be just because the scars have faded too much, or it feels like it has been too long since I have done it. When I do try to stop, I have to replace it with something else. Not eating, not drinking water, depriving myself of chocolate until I give in and eat so much chocolate that I make myself sick, exercising to the point of sore muscles, sabotaging something that I really wanted to do. And it never lasts. Eventually I revert back to SI, but I continue to maintain the new self-destructive behavior, and just add to the list. At any given moment I can probably resist any urge to SI, but sometimes I just don't care to resist it. I mostly don't even care who knows about it anymore. I'm not doing any serious damage - it's all superficial. It rarely gets infected or anything, but if it does I think that's great too. I never treat the wounds either. They usually don't require it.

Any ideas? I'm sorry for being such a hippocrit.

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>