I don't think he'll believe me. I am pretty physicallly disabled. He knows my abuse history. Cognitively he knows DID is real and that I've had enough stuff happen to me thaat i know of to have DID haappen. But in his heart he doesn't waany to believve i have another mental illness that is severe and will give people another reason to judge me.

I know he loves me and Klara hoas told him the three girls like him. He has always said nothing would break us up. Tonight he said a tiny peice of the logic side of him is telling him to leave me. But his heart won't listen to logic. And i said good cuz i love you and we will be ok. We have been through lots of stuff... then he said casually that his heart could change and go with logic... really????!! I don't want that! I love him! We would be married if SSI wouldn't lower us. Yes he's disabled too. Physically with some depression at times but mild... i know tjings seem worse at night right? Why does he feel the need to protect me yet he's freaked at the same time?

Oh and i did try to get him to read that manual but it was too much for him tonight i think. Hopefully tommorow. I am going to read it at least..