maybe im depressed. maybe not idk. i can never really tell.


whatever is going on with my emotions seems neverending.
so i cannot really start somewhere.
but i can say...
for the past couple of days i had quit eating and drinking.
i ate a couple of things but did not drink anything.
i lost probably 5 or so pounds in a week. thats ok.
i had been crying a lot past month.
doing stuff that seemed suicidal by a few people but i dont feel that way particularly.
i have given all my clothes away and shoes. i have about a few shirts and a few shoes.
taken pictures of myself doing bad things to myself but not sexual stuff. just with toys aimed at my head. without going into detail.
basically doing a lot of stuff that a few people deemed suicidal but like i said i dont particularly feel that.

but i do feel a lot of loneliness. given my situation. i guess.

not sure what to think of myself.