Thanks for the responses everyone. I think winter4me is onto something with the being attached to negative things. Whenever I do feel "Normal" it doesn't last long because I don't like how it feels and purposely do things to get me back depressed.

"Do u have a therapist? Are u taking meds, if so who prescribed them? Have u tried suicide before? Do you have a plan."

I do have a therapist if I can go. I've skipped two appointments now due to anxiety/lack of energy. I called today to try and get one more chance with her. I'm on 300mg Wellbutrin, and I was on Celexa until I remembered what Celexa does to me (I used to be on it back in my teens) so I stopped taking that today so I'll have to try and get a different kind of serotonin or whatever that one is. The psychiatrist at the same place (U of A hospital). I've never tried to kill myself. I hold a controversial view of suicide attempts so I'll keep it to myself. I always have a plan.

I'm feeling much better right now. I still am clenching my teeth so I can't be totally over it but I do feel like I'm out of the dangerous part of the woods for now. Thank you all for listening and caring.