Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
Just an update: I'm doing much better today. The thoughts are gone for the time being. I discussed the ER with my t yesterday, and she said to go if I start to scare myself. I told her that I didn't want to go unless it was 100% necessary because of the expense in both time and money; she replied that the ER is still cheaper than a funeral.
I think I found the root of my desire to die. I feel suicidal when I realize how disappointed I am with life. Life hasn't been what I was hoping it would be, and the discrepancy between the actual and the ideal tortures me. Now I need to figure out how to better my life, or learn how to accept it as it is.
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She is definitely right that the ER is cheaper than a funeral in terms of monetary cost. It is also way cheaper than
eternal non-existence in terms of time.
You have been met with a lot of disappointments in life, Secretum. Your crushes are yet to return your passionate feelings - too bad. You were sent home from Europe due to the disorder - really a pity. So you are totally justified in feeling disappointed. Just keep going with your life!!