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Originally Posted by LovelaceF
I can understand how you could think so, but to me this is a misconception. There are bad people who will take advantage of others. True. They will kick you when you're down, and exploit your weaknesses. That's because they're looking for the easiest target. They would kick anybody if they thought that they could get away with it.
If a bicycle thief sees two bikes on the street, he's going to steal the one without a lock on it because it's easier. If a bully sees a small shy kid next to a big loud kid, he goes after the shy kid. It's not fair and it sucks, but bad people take advantage of perceived weakness or increased opportunity. I had to teach my son, who is the smallest kid in his class, to be scrappy or else the mean kids try to beat him up.
However, MOST people aren't bad people. Most people wouldn't kick you when you're down. Most people will meet kindness with kindness. I know you might not think so, but human beings are largely altruistic. There are lots of good people in the world who will help you in your time of need. There are lots of good people who will support you when you're weak.
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If there are so many people that would help and be supportive, why does one have to learn to essentially not attract 'bad' people, why is there never any effort in society to quite encouraging nasty behavior. I wish it was just a few bad people but it's really not that simple at least in my experience. Good people might go along with ostracizing the outcast so they don't get shunned or picked on themselves, good people might react with hostility towards somone who comes off as different from them. I just don't know if that is really true about most people and most people are probably somewhere between good and bad though even those terms are rather simple for the entire spectrum of human behavior. Also this entire society is all about getting ahead and being entirely self sufficient and independent not really much sense of a community.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
The trick is to only associate with people who treat you as you deserve to be treated. Of course, bad people will still try hurt you. They have to be weeded out. Good people can do bad things that cause harm to others, too. If that happen, you just have to put an end to the bad behaviour. If it doesn't stop, you cut that person loose and move on.
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Hmm easier said than done, for instance I live at my moms house with her and her boyfriend and her boyfriend isn't exactly a terrible person but we don't exactly get along and well to put it simply he's kind of an ***. But since he lives here to I can't cut him out of my life. Other then that a lot of family members can't help doing things that can make things worse for me a lot of times simply by having no concept of how it is dealing with the mental health issues I have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
I think it is great that you're thinking about all of this stuff and trying to find a solution. You ARE smart enough. If you want to do something else with your life, the only person stopping you is yourself. Even if you have a breakdown, that's OK. You will recover. You are more resilient than you know.
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Also I do not agree that I am stopping myself from doing something with my life. I would say its largely the symptoms of my mental health issues, that where unfortunatly contributed to by other people though I acknowledge the other factors as well though none of those are anything I chose....I think I have already spent enough time blaming myself for not doing something else or more with my life.
To me more breakdowns are not ok, I don't want to end up hurting myself or going to the psych ward again though I am not sure if any of those can be avoided even if I don't over-stress myself by thinking the cure to my problems is to try harder to quit preventing myself from getting somewhere in life.