((((Kimmy))))

"For still some others, healing is simply accepting what is and moving forward with what they have."

We are working hard to heal, I did not know what the experience would be like or feel like, human beings are different, amazing, and scarey, and on and on and on, that doesn't change just because we have DID, albiet it makes the interactions with externals much more challenging, but after going thru this integration process with an alter in which I was able to transform the energy from the release of her pain, and actually allowing myself to share it, take ownership of the fluid part of her existence and integrate the expereince into our conscious recall, it was so very cathargic.

It's like reaching for the candle's flame, instinctivly thinking that it would burn me if I touched it, but because someone else was there with me, trusting that he could bare the pain if I could not gave me the ability and courage I needed to reach into the fire and though it initially burned red hot, as the memory was experienced at all levels and converged, in the end, we danced in the same fire I thought would consume us...and we healed..she is not in a dark lonely place anymore..actually there is no where she goes that she will ever feel that alone again...and that is what our integration of her was like..she is not gone, but now she is here and not there..and now she chooses to be in a meadow picking flowers..perfectly content, at peace, and able to finally live in a new light that dosent consume but nurishes her to grow, I have a feeling someday she will outgrow the meadow and move on, but everypart of me believes she will be okay with that..somehow I just know...

Again, this was just my way of healing, not very technical sounding, with all the professional nomenclature and formulas, but then it is what it is for us, every alter will be different in the way it occurs, the aspects of the traumatic world they live in is different..people are different..different is different in that much we are the same...maybe why we put up with each other..and just except...

Gentle hugs to all...take care..



Eva...