Next week is one of those big birthdays...the one's that really get your attention and asks for us to take stock of our own life. Outside of being someone's something: wife, mother, g'ma, daughter, semiretired sort of, LOL. I have the opportunity to reconnect with my daughter after many years of estrangement. This has taken me 2 years to get the courage to face her and my own self. My son found her on fb, and after we started very slowly to communicate via text. She is in her late 30's, has her own family, single, is a nurse in a rehab unit doing alright for herself. My concern is that her expectations are very high. I am concerned for me too, cuz what if we don't care for each other? All that said, my intention is to show up and listen to her and be present for all she has to say...whatever that may be. And, to enjoy the beauty of the area she lives in. I haven't been on a vacation in many years and frankly looking forward to a change of scenery. We'll be ok, inside on some level I just sense this.

I want to tell her about our family history, mainly the mental illnesses that have been part of my life since a very early age. I found out that my bio mthr, and bio fthr, and his brthr had bipolar disorder undiagnosed from other relatives with anxiety disorder oy-vay, Never could understand what was happening with them or myself, but it sure would have been easier maybe if there was less stigma. This is a lot to tell her, but it really seems important for her and her children to know so they can get the help and care they need and not be lost in the dark.

I have been learning to live with the disease finally. Some days are better and that's all that matters now. It's understandable that she may not even care about this, that's ok too.

And, after our visit we will both have a clearer picture of how to proceed.
so wish us luck
Thanks JA