The degree of attachment cannot be willed, at least not easily, but you can develop rules of behavior (your personal code of conduct). Say, if I guy tells you that he wants to move on, you should not tell him that he is free to call you if he changes his mind. He already knows that. On your end, if you believe that you can take him back in some capacity, you do not put his # on "direct to VM" and if you do not want to take him back in any capacity, you do put his number on "direct to VM". All of that action is completely on your end and within your control and requires no communication from you to him. Saying "call me if you change your mind" humiliates you without necessity.

Whether you have a personality disorder or not, you can develop and stick to rules of behavior. Treating the disorder can take a lot of time, and you do not have to suffer all the while until the disorder is treated.

As I probably have already told you on one of your duplicate threads in other forums, you should resign to the fact that you will never know the truth. You do not need to believe any side.