Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinnk0123
So for the past 4 years of my life I have been trapped in a realationship with a very abusive and controlling guy. We got together when I was 16 (I am now 20) and he treats me like crap. We argue and fight literally everyday! Just last week he got mad at me because I wouldn't have sex with him and he ended up punching me in my mouth andchipping my tooth. Even still I just wanted to talk to him. He talks down to me constantly. He doesn't let me have any friends and he hates when I talk to my family memebers (parents/syblings) etc. He says "well if you need to talk to them, you don't need me" He gets mad for everything then turns it around like its my fault and he makes me feel bad. like when he punched me in my face he said "well this would of never happened if he would have just had sex with me" He makes me cry atleast 4 times a week and I coul sit there and cry myself to sleep right in front of him and he wouldnt care. He just sits there laughing anf playing on his phone talking to god knows who. He doesnt even look at me. He has hurt me in every way possible, I could go on and on.. but why can't i leave him?? he always tells me i can leave if i want and I do but then i come right back not even a full day later. When I break up with him for treating me like crap he doesnt even care. He doesnt call or apologize, so I just always call him and beg him to take me back. I know this sounds silly, but he has broken me down. I use to have alot of self esteem and confiedence but now I don't. I also suffer from a terrible anxienty issue which i believe is because of this unhealthy realtionship. Why can't I let him go? I hurt when im with him but I also hurt when im without him. he has put me through alot within these 4yrs. Cheating, Disrespecting me and abuse but I still have not left. I lost my virginity to him 3 years ago and that was a reason why I didnt leave initally. Now we hav no kids together but he wants some so bad, he's 21. I feel like maybe if i give him a child things will get better. I am scared because he is very immature and irresponsible. He never gives me money or buys me anything. I will starve before he go buy me some food. He has a really bad anger issue (only with me) I work and do everything for him, I cater to him and he never even says thanks. He just complains about what I am doing wrong. I dont want to be in this realtionship anymore. Any advice on leaving and staying away?
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Wow. He sounds like a right old.... well, I'll let your imagination fill in the gaps.
Reading all this just makes me want to sob, and it also makes me so angry. If you had a friend who told you everything about her boyfriend as you've told us, what would you say to her? I bet it would to get the heck out of there. And although I do try to stop telling someone what to do, I say, get the heck out of there. Please, don't wait anymore, just go.
It IS hard, especially when your confidence has been worn to an all-time low. When you have no self-esteem because he's taken it all away from you. You feel like he's the only person there because he's keeping you away from your support network of friends and family. He's consuming you, the way you try and try again to help him with anything and everything with little thanks is proof of this. You need a break, step back to see things clearly He is broken, and trust me, he thinks so very little of you that he will never change, and that may just help you move on. Any declarations of love he may make you are hollow - actions speak louder than words. No amount of things you do for him, abuse you take, things you say sorry for that were never your fault, how much love you show him, he will not change. He needs therapy, and a ton of it, and while doing that, he needs to be a single man. He is a danger to women, end of.
I know he makes you feel bad when you talk to friends or family, but this is what you should do if you can. If you're close to your Mom, please tell her everything. She just may be the person who can help you pull yourself out of this - and if not, talk to anyone, father, sister, brother, a pal.. anyone who is a good friend. Its a trap, being in an abusive relationship, and you need help.