A couple of years ago I found the courage to divulge to T. I called it the Big Disclosure. T knew I had something to share and we worked for weeks preparing for it. It was very very tough.

The day after the disclosure, I was feeling so ashamed and so appalled that I had confided in her. I left her a voicemail telling her I could never see her again. I said that I KNEW she was disgusted with me since I made that disclosure. I said that it would be impossible for me to face her again. I told her I quit therapy because there could be no way for me to let her look at me again.

I was absolutely distraught.

But, you know what, I got through it. My T provided solid support - compassion, non-judgmental reassurance. Her steadiness allowed me to process something very painful.

So, how to do it? For me it was charging through - even though it took weeks of preparation. My T asked me what she could do to make it easier. We talked about how I could be made more comfortable. I thought to myself what I needed before I divulged.

I decided I needed to sit on floor to talk about it. I decided I needed a double session so that I wouldn't feel rushed. I decided that an agreement had to be made where there could be plenty of silence - where she wouldn't make any comments. And on and on....

It was tough. The aftermath was brutal. But that pain did not last and it brought the therapy forward in a quicker way. If I had have held back for more months or years I would still be stalled out. I am very happy I was given the courage to press forward.

Yes, it's scary... but it's worth it.