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I would say its largely the symptoms of my mental health issues, that where unfortunatly contributed to by other people though I acknowledge the other factors as well though none of those are anything I chose
You sound so fatalistic here. That because you have mental health issues, which you did not ask for, and others have treated you badly, you are somehow doomed to fail. As someone mentioned, I suspect you have more strength and abilities in you than you think. But to point this out is not blaming you and is no reason to feel guilty. Maybe you're not 'there' yet, but it doesn't mean you can't eventually get there. Don't give up, please!
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