Well, I screwed up again today. I was invited over to my new friends house and he fixed a dinner and I felt so bad that it was stuff I can't usually eat. I ate it. Afte that we watched a movie and then I left. When I got home I took magnesium and purged.

He is a really nice friend and I am going to tell him to quit making stuff that is off limits to me. I stopped eating lazagna and cheese cake along time ago. I was so grossed out, I wished I just could have walked out of there.

I hate this. I just should never eat stuff, I hate. I have to gain some control and if I can't handle the meal, just have to tell people, no matter if I really like them or not.

I am so so sad right now. My stomach is so pudgy and I still feel like I went to the buffet and overate after magnesium. I think that certain food just won't leave your body dispite purging. They must be pretty awful for everyone if the body won't do much more than turn them to pure fat. I can't undrstand how cheezy pasta like foods are rib sticking and no one quits eating them, because they make you fat right away and all of the exercise and past good diets go right down the drain.

Feel so bad right now. Gotta stick up more for myself and just tell people honestly I despise foods. Some food (no matter how good it tastes going down the gullet, you just wear. You mayas well hang it onyourself, literraly because you really JUST WEAR CERTAIN TYPES OF FOOD almost literally, and it happens almost instantly, after it's eaten.

I gotta just STAY AWAY FROM stuff, I think is crap like the stuff above. I feel awful SO AWFUL. Feeling great chewing it up and all just doesn't do justice to the way I feel and am going to feel for the next 2 days. I end up feeling HORRIBLE for two or more days, and it is physical. Even if I did not take the laxitive, I would be sick for 2 or more days from it. I have to gain control somehow. Any one have some story to share of your own difficulty about this kind. Thank you for your support, Signed, dumb me.