Everyday is a challenge for me. I see my life and I tell myself, "this isn't what was supposed to happen". I always imagined myself being happy and successful. Right now, I'm a sophomore in college. So far I have a very high GPA along with all the benefits that come along with that, but after this semester is over I feel like everything I've done with all go down the drain.

I go through the cycle of being "okay" and "everything is going to be alright" to very angry, sad, and apathetic. With school and daily life I feel like I've never done the best I can with anything. I just got my chemistry test grade back and I got a 60% when I looked at the problems I missed I noticed I should have gotten at least an 86% if I tried a little harder.

Of course I want to change for myself to have a better future but I feel trapped in so many ways and I don't know what to do. People who see me on an academic level see me as being successful so far, but I always ask myself what if I did do the best that I could? Where would I be now? Everyday is that constant struggle of living a life I'm not in the least bit proud of.