My mom blamed all of her problems on my dad and she basically turned me and my siblings against him, but, to be honest, I don't remember anything bad about him. He commanded respect and if you were impudent he would hit but he never beat me. He never touched my mom except to hold her back from lashing out at him and he would leave for long periods of time due to her. I remember her once filling a suitcase with stones from the back yard for him to take. He was set in his ways beyond belief, but not bad. I remember when I was little sitting next to him watching TV, and he's the only one in my immediate family except for my sister to accept my husband. My mom, when I was 8, beat me because my dad offered me a trip to Disney World and she refused to go and told me it was okay to go with him. He stopped her abuse of me and took me with him to work, but it was the last time I ever really spent time with him because after that I was too scared to. My dad was very lonely due to her but never complained and I wish I'd given him more of a chance. I miss him.

I knew I took after my mom and even though I didn't know what BPD was, I was very careful with the way I acted around my children. I wouldn't drink (which my mom did a lot of) and would isolate myself rather than lash out. I don't think I was a perfect parent, but I think I spared my kids from the brunt of the BPD madness.