I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't think I would be handling things very well either. I understand feeling deserted. It's actually kind of what happened. NOt maliciously. Perhaps with some kindness? But she's still not there anymore.
I agree with you that our feelings towards our therapists can be so much more complicated than their feelings toward us.
I hear that you are sooo sad, and hate that you have to depend on a therapist. You wish you didn't have to. I'm guessing maybe it's a vulnerable feeling? or maybe the hard work that's required? and you need to feel safe, and that's tough when someone you trusted just left so quickly? Is it like that? or is it different?
I hope you find a new T you like and can work with.
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