I told my T a MAJOR thing today, finally, after 6 years of telling her I didn't remember. I had to stop and ask her several times if she hated me, or if she was mad at me, or if she thought I was bad. I told her I didn't want to say it because it was bad, and she reasurred me she'd heard a lot of bad stuff and it was ok to tell her. So I guess what I learned was that being open with her about all the fears and shame and thoughts I was having in the moment, while I was trying to tell her, allowed her to provide the exact reassurances I needed to say it. Usually I sit there quietly, trying to "make" myself say it. I try to put it in a nice neat package and only say what I have to say. When I just started talking, and told her not only the experience from my past, but how I was experiencing talking about it now, it was easier to keep talking and not get so stuck in the shame. I don't know if that makes sense, but it helped me.