should i say that this is a behaviour i realize i use a lot with all my relationships or what?

Sounds like a great approach to me. It shows that you recognize a behavior you're uncomfortable with and want to learn to change. As Tiny said, your T will most likely not see this judgementally as a moral issue about honesty as a value, but rather as your way of responding to the world that reflects your life experience.

Jenluv--

When one talks about the issue directly with your therapist how is the need fulfilled in a healthy way?

I don't think the need is fulfilled by the telling, but rather the telling opens the door to the experience, over time, of being heard without judgement and responded to with empathy. Those empathic experiences in response to the very issues we find most shameful about ourselves, are healing experiences. They allow us to build a healthy self-esteem.

For me, it was the empathic responding to the natural childhood need to be seen and accepted--cherished, even-- that I had never experienced developmentally. When we aren't recognized/shown empathy as children, we also don't experience learning how to view ourselves as worthy of having needs. So we come to see our needs as shameful, and yet they demand to be met, so we meet them in unhealthy ways (maybe shameful, manipulative, passive-aggressive, whatever).

The empathic experience allows us to learn and feel the developmental lessons that meet our needs and banish the shame. Once we get that, we relate differently in our non-therapy relationships and stop repeating the pattern because it's been replaced. Being heard, accepted, respected, shown empathy all re-shape our experience of ourselves on an emotional level. There may be some behavioral "lessons" that help us to carry this new experience of ourselves into the world, but the fundamental shift I think happens within the empathic relationship of therapy.