Simon,

I know what you mean by them being that way all their lives. My Grandmother was a very mean person (especially around family). She wasn't all that great around others, but my Grandfather was so wonderful he was the only reason they had friends.

My Grandmother was always angry about something & everything had to be her way or she didn't like it & made everyone around her miserable. When I was a child, my Mother would take me back to Kansas every summer vacation to visit with them. Needless to say, my Grandmother & I didn't get along at all because even as a young person I wouldn't put up with her crap. My Mother was so attached to her that she wouldn't see what her Mother was really like.

As the years went by, my Grandmother just got worse & worse. One Christmas, after they moved back here to California, we decided to spend Christmas with them for a few days. I was in college at the time & had a pet rat that I was caring for from the Biology department. I brought him with me in a cage. Well, we got there a little late (we never got anywhere on time....too much things to get ready)....she got all bent out of shape because we weren't there exactly when she thought we should be & what in the world was in the cage. She started ragging on my Mother about everything & nothing at the same time. Everything was all wrong in her mind. It finally go so angry at the way she was treating my Mother that I told her off along with telling her I would never spend another holiday with her because she was a completely rude, selfish, pathetic human being. We stayed for dinner so we could spend time with my Grandfather & left right after that. (it had been a 3 hour drive to get there in the first place). This happened when I was about 19. My Grandmother progressively got worse over the next 25+ years until she bacame completely unmanageable. Her hallucinations & anger became harmful to my Grandfather. My mother knew that her Mother had been a miserable, unhappy person all her life, but was just getting worse & isn't that what happens when people get older?

From my experiences, the way people are in their lives only gets amplifies with alzheimers. I think that is why it is so hard to initially be willing to even think that something is wrong because it is what we have been seeing all along, only it just is getting worse.

There are still other things that can cause actions that look like alzheimers.....that is why a diagnosis is important because those other things can have a more simple solution. Memory impairment is a big part of alzheimers but can also be caused by nutritional deficiencies, chemical imbalances in the blood, tumors, & environmental stressors (metal poisoning from manganese or aluminum). A bad reaction to a medication they are put onto or even depression can look like alzheimers in older people. The normal indication for alzheimers is when their memory starts going, but I found that along with that comes the anger when the people have already had issues with that already.

What I have also found is that if those actions get worse after a specific time, it might be caused by a stroke. I think this is what happened with my Mother after her cancer surgery just before they found blood clots in her legs. Her cognative abilities when immediately downhill right after she "lost her balance" & slid down the door way to the floor.

If your Dr doesn't know much about alzheimers, maybe she can point you to a place where you can get some good information.

Take care,
Debbie