It's so true, things don't often turn out as we hope or expect, especially such a high intelligence girl like you S. Acceptance is key, but keep your big dreams, they are worthy and beautiful. There's still time for all of us right, even me pushing 40 so many aspects falling apart. I will possibly have to rebuild everything as I've known it quite soon, including going back to college and beginning a whole new career. It is so disappointing, but if I want peace, have to accept it as it is, and persevere.

Had dinner tonight with ex gf lover, we're still good friends. So much I admire about her, doesn't get anxiety, successful in her teaching career, strong boundaries, confidence, almost always seems happy, seems to create her own destiny. In ways she has it easier than me, but in ways I have different gifts. She sees me as magical and spiritual and deep and intuitive and she sees my huge heart and sensitivity. I see those things in you S. We have it harder in many ways but we have special gifts, and sensitivity hurts, bad, but it is a gift. You are a unique gift to this planet

I'm glad to hear you're finding your way through this hard time. Don't ever give up. Never forget your intelligence and that you will always find a way once you wrap your head around something, and I will do the same. I've teetered the edge lately too and trusting that if it comes time to make that call, I will make that call or trip to the hospital if need be. This is hard stuff we deal with. I'm so glad you have a good t, she sounds like a good one.

Best advice from a pdoc to me regarding sui thoughts was realizing what things I want to be different in my life, and like confused said above, it's never too late.