Late in the conversation but I too have a 17 yr old son, I must be same age as you. My son has different issues, but I wish I'd never called the police on him, other people told me too. Even tonight he got himself stuck in a jam needing a ride from downtown, we live up in mountains. But he's my kid not theirs, I made him wait a little but was kind, and I was firm when he called me names, reminded him I'm trying to help him out and he got himself in the situation. I have found that the T he has now and trusts and sees weekly is the best medicine so far and we've both tried many. He's also been smudging with sage and sweet grass lately and it's made a big difference in a good way. Baby steps, letting him work out things with his T, my consistency with him is my love and talking to him about whatever he wants, being kind and gentle with the criticism, tons of thanks when he does something cool on his own like dishes, cleaning, being nice to his brother. He's seemed to have turned a corner recently and making plans to get a job, GED , travel, explore his spirituality, and this is huge improvement for us. Trust your mother instinct, not every kid fits in the same or responds to punishment the same. He's your child, you know him best. That's my advice. Hang in there mama!