I have trouble making the simplest phone calls, I find it extremely hard to strike up conversation with anyone. Sometimes I feel mute, like talking is just impossible. I hide in all social situations too. The only way I can face any social event is getting drunk. I drink too much, I do relax a bit though and end up talking, but then someone says the smallest thing, or gives me the smallest look and I end up in a rage or a crying mess. I'm BPD and can relate to this.