I have no one left to turn to anywhere. Depressed, lonely, heart-broken, and miserable with every aspect of my life. I had one friend that I thought I could turn to, then after 2-3 days of talking to him about some of my problems he told me to leave him alone until I "get over all of this". Then I went and made the mistake of telling the girl that had been my best friend for the last 10 years that I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember. And she told me that she never wants to speak to me or see me again. So within the last 2 weeks I lost the only 2 people in the world that I considered to be friends and now I have no one left. I miss face-to-face interaction with people, but I'm terribly shy and the idea of spending time around people that I don't know terrifies me more than anything else in the world.

I have 3 beautiful kids and they are what's keeping me going every single day. But it's not the same as having a friend. I can't very well sit down with my 7 year old son and have a conversation with him about what's going on in my life. I've tried talking to family members, my mom's advice is "things will get better" and "don't start drinking like your uncles did". I talk to my sister on almost a daily basis, and I'm thankful for that, but, she lives about 5 hours away from me. So it is still lacking, I haven't actually seen her in about 6 months. I realize that 5 hours isn't that far away, but with my kids and work schedule it's very hard to find time to make any sort of trip to go see her.

Everyone tells me to just go out and do things that I enjoy and that's how you meet new friends that have similar interests. The problem with that is that everything that I enjoy doing involves me not leaving my apartment. Reading, watching movies, video games...none of the things I enjoy doing are very "social activities". I like to bike, but the weather here is preventing that for the time being. And I don't know how I would meet anyone while biking around out in the middle of nowhere where I live anyways.

I'm not sure why I'm posting on here other than I feel the need to vent and have no one that I can vent to in person. Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you're having a better day than I am