Meta,

I understand how hard it is to go through loosing your Mother. My Mother died of cancer 1 1/2 years ago. Unfortunately, they never told my Mother that her cancer was terminal & kept her going way too long. I know for me, when we decided on the hospice care for her (which unfortunately was only 4 days before she died), that meant taking her off all life support (which means IV's, feeding tubes, etc) that meant stopping all treatment & only KEEPING HER COMFORTABLE.

From the experience I went through with my Mother, keeping her on IV & any life support would have only continued the suffering she was dealing with. Looking at the quality of life my Mother had the last month of her life, the best thing that happened was when she died. Keeping her on an IV & prolonging her life for a few more days until her body would finally die anyway, didn't seem right to me. I know her boyfriend would tell me that she was having a good day & when was she going to get well? What he didn't understand was that even though there is a good day, the end result is going to be the same...it is just a matter of when. I know that my mother was Christian & was not afraid to die, but what I found out was that everyone is afraid of the unknown & death is the "unknown" for everyone. The one thing I also realized in my situation is that God was in charge no matter what we do to try & control the situation.

I know how hard it is to let go. I was with my Mother 24/7 until I was so sick because of the stress in caring for my Mother & the trauma I went through because of her, that I was in the medical hospital when my Mother died. I had been with her right before I went into the hospital & told her it was ok to let go because God wanted to answer her prayer for making her well. She died 2 hours after I left her & I got a call the next morning in the hospital that my Mother had died. I guess in some ways, it was good for me to be in the hospital because everyone was helping me deal with it.

The one thing I learned in my situation was that God is the one in charge of when someone dies. We can do everything possible to keep them alive or prolong their life, but when their time comes, we have to let go. I know that doesn't help the pain go away, but knowing that they no longer are in the pain they were having to deal with really helped me deal with it.

My prayers are with & with your family for the strength to get through this all the hard feelings of loosing your mother,
Debbie