What I meant by this is that people with Borderline Personality Disorder will usually use sex, and constant admiration to lure you in at the very beginning. This is common in some relationships, but it more or less used by someone with BPD to get control, and less for emotion and pleasure.

Our sex life died after marriage. People with BPD often experience a love-hate relationship with others. They may idealize someone one moment (when we got married) and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even misunderstandings. This is when the sex ended. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas — things are either black or white. For instance, in the eyes of a person with BPD, someone is either good or evil. And that same person may be good one day and evil the next...but the reality here is that I did not change!

I should clarify that I do not want a relationship with this person again. Because of her illness, she does not feel bad about us or myself, only herself. She will not grieve the loss of me in her life. But people with BPD tend to come back and begin the cycle over again - idealizing, seducing, etc. However, in our case, I think the divorce was possibly too traumatic for her to return to...and I think it's really for the best.

She is on to repeating her cycle with the next guy who she feels is her next vehicle.