((UD))

Hey, you know,
I remember being like this since I was little. They wanted to hold me back in grade school because I didn't socialize or interact like everyone else. It's not that I didn't want to, I was just scared and nervous all the time. Phone calls were a nightmare, talking to people in a store was a nightmare, public speaking was out of the question, high school was hell. Interacting at a party or social event was soooo difficult and like you it wasn't because I didn't want to. I wanted friends more than anything...I was just nervous and scared. I always felt stupid and awkward. There were countless times I've had panic attacks during the prospect of having to interact.

I don't know what happened but I seem to have 'gotten over' a lot of it. I have to deal with people at work on a daily basis and it wasn't unusual to have to do presentations in University, ask professors questions and socialize. (During that time I was still quite anxious and it felt like pulling teeth). Cognitive behavioral therapy helped a bit, but you know..sometimes I STILL feel this way, I often wondered if others had a hard time with this like I do.

If it is really bothering you, a therapist could pinpoint what it is exactly. Personally it sounds like intense social anxiety to me. I only say this because I experience the same thing often enough and have been diagnosed with anxiety - social and generalized along with a panic disorder.