Thanks for the feedback, guys. I am not on medication, I am afraid of medication. I am terrified on relying on something like that. I would however like to start SOME kind of therapy, in my mind these forums provide a bit of that. Professional advice would be nice though, I guess. I do need help coping with mania, I always know exactly what could happen and it's like I can't control it... I left out alot, like fits of rage... (breaking stuff and holes in walls and screaming bloody murder.. mostly because I was living with an insensitive P.O.S who enjoyed setting me off, i've convinced myself.) Also, I have already moved across the country 3 times. So that's definitely a thing I like to do. Definitely need to find some inner peace, i think.