I tried everything i could to save her. I spent $3500 on intensive vet hospitalization but she didnt pull through. After the bill hit $3500 i couldnt afford any bigger of a hit and they threw her out to me. She died in my home, while i was at work. I forgot to kiss her that morning when i left but thankfully came back and gave her all the love i could before i left.. i just knew she wasnt going to make it. I cant stop crying today, i feel helpless. I dont know how i am going to get a job feeling like this. I tried to go back to my old one but they wont have me. I cant afford to see a therapist right now as i have absolutely no source of income. I also havent had any luck with therapists in the past. After my dad died i went to the free counseling at my college and they got me into some support groups etc. None of it made me feel any better. I just dont know what to do. I cant believe i have destroyed my life like this in such a short period of time. I think the road to me feeling better is to just get all my grief for rikki out. I've never been more attached to anything in my life, and i lost her after only having her for 9 weeks, 1 of which was in the hospital.