Hey guys,

I know I haven't been around much. Sorry. things got really tough the last couple of months. Going off medication was not a good idea. I think I was kind of in denial about how bad things actually were. I just got more depressed, my OCD got way worse, I couldn't think about school, and everything just went downhill. It got to the point where I couldn't even go into my own house because of fear of contamination. I went through a range of emotions: Guilt, Denial, fear. I got so wrapped up in my OCD that even then I wanted to take the medication I couldn't. T had no idea what to do. That in itself is scary, because you look to your professional as your guide. The last couple months have been a lot of crying.

Things also got rly bad with the family. They just couldn't deal with that anymore. Last week I was told that I either go find somewhere else to live on go to a mental hospital. That triggered every abandonment and trust issue I ever had deep inside me. Worst of all, T supported that decision. I am currently waiting at a friends house.

The plan right now is that I go to Wisconsin, to a inpatient program Strickley for adolescents, on April 1.