You've got it wrong...it is not "used" by them. They often do not know they are doing it. They feel abandonment and being alone and will do anything, including manipulation, to avoid that, but it's not intentional most of the time, and it's not "At the very beginning". Their feelings are genuine; they are just also very, very volatile and can change on a dime. That does not make their feeling ingenuine. They do not realize what they are doing until way after the fact and sometimes not even then. Do not insult people with BPD. What you said is very, very invalidating, which is the main reason most people have BPD...because of being invalidated time after time when they were young, being told that our feelings don't count, are not real, and don't matter. They do not purposely "lure" or "get control". I think you need to learn more about the disorder.

And before you state that I'm acting or saying the things I am because of my BPD...that is incorrect. I have seen and lived through both sides of BPD. My mom was BPD and so was one of my best friends. This isn't meant to be insulting, but before you accuse someone with BPD with something, you need to learn the "whys" and reasons behind the behavior so you can try to understand it. We don't purposely hurt people. I'm not saying it doesn't sometimes work out that way, but it's not intentional...