Thanks for the support everyone. I have seen a new therapist once, and I will see her again this week. You are so right that this is a type of grief that is hard to explain to anyone, and hard to suffer with. No, I wasn't offered phone consultations, which surprised the new therapist, but she said that everyone operates differently.

My other problem is that I normally have a phone consultation with my pdoc midway between appts. I have called a couple of times, and did not get a return call. This is very unlike her. I didn't talk to a real person, just left a message on the nurse's phone. This normally works. I am at a point that I want to adjust my meds myself because I am so sleepy all of the time. I don't know what it is, it may just be depression. This week I am going to call the appointment line and ask why I can't get a return call.

I feel deserted by everyone.

I absolutely detest the feeling of loneliness and having no one to turn to-no email options or anything. My best friend and I are not in contact because we both are needy mentally right now, and we have nothing to give. Meanwhile, I don't want to go to work, a place I usually love to be. It is just such a chore. I just want to sleep, no exercise or anything. Also, my wine consumption is slowly creeping up.

I am appreciative of your support.

Bluemountains