Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetthinker
I think he is dealing with his shame by finding ways to justify what happened. He says it was an accident, or he says that I initiated it.
I believe that the emotional pain of how it happened is a lot more painful to me than almost the physical pain of the concussion.
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Do yourself a huge favor and learn about the cycle of abuse as you WALK OUT THE DOOR.
You cannot, repeat cannot, initiate any violence against you. It is always, always, always the perpetrator's fault.
His "emotional pain" is undoutedly real ... for now. He'll feel bad for a while, say it will never happen again, and be on his best behavior. Little gifts, flowers, putting you first (which is all that you wanted anyway).... But the giveaway that it will happen again is in your quote,
he says I initiated it. This means he is not taking responsibility for his actions.
It WILL happen again. Maybe worse because he had no negative consequences from this. You didn't tell anyone b/c you didn't want him to get in trouble. You are putting yourself in grave danger - physically and psychologically. He will ruin your self esteem and eventually make you believe that you are worthless without him. He'll control everything you do and you'll just stand back and wonder how your life got so bad.
It doesn't have to be that way, but you need to take the initiative and get out now. This is not a relationship you should be working to save.
Been there...
Bub