Take up women's MMA -> get hot -> profit. (haha)

I spew hate at myself all the time. I hate myself for what I've become. I hate myself for what I am. I hate myself for how I treat others. I hate myself for how I act.

I guess I'm lucky that healthcare is covered by the gov/insurance and that I can throw money at my problems. But honestly it doesn't work. I've been taking drugs and doing therapy for a couple months and I haven't noticed any difference (it actually got worse for a while).

I dunno. You can get books about CBT at the library for free. They haven't worked for me yet but apparently it's scientifically proven (....so are the pills...). But at least it's free.