My husband felt deep concern and total confusion. I had to try to understand that it was something that he would never be able to understand and his concern would have to be enough. That is why coming here is so important to me because the people here do understand.

With my mom I compared the struggle to stop with her struggle to stop smoking. That was something she could understand so it kept the conversation in the addiction arena and protected her from guilt feelings so she didn't get defensive. We haven't talked about it since.

My T got his concerned concentration look on his face and questioned me a little at a time about it over many months. He never freaked out on me or demanded that I stop. Instead he helped me work through the underlying triggers and then finally we talked about the addiction quality.

I told my new T in our first session. She didn't speak of it at all until last week when I told her that I was going to my sister's place. She then brought up the fact that it would be simular to an Alocholic with 3 months sobriety going to visit a relative who owns a bar and gets loaded every night. She asked me to promise not to hurt myself until after I saw her again. But other then that it has been a non-issue in our talks probably because I did so much work with my other T so she and I are able to focus on different stuff now.

In my "live" group I have brought it up in passing when telling about my "weather" but no one has pressed me for information or acted like it was bad.

I haven't told anyone else. I don't see the point. I have wanted too but I know to so many people it is incomprehensible why someone would do what I have done so I have kept it to myself.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft