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It sounds like it's important to you so if I were you I'd try (again) to talk to them about it, especially if the two different diagnoses are treated very differently (or are the therapists not suggesting a different diagnosis, just saying they don't think you have bipolar?). Maybe you could ask your psychiatrist why he/she thinks you fit the criteria and bring that to the program therapists and discuss it with them. And vice versa, for that matter.
As far as which medications are appropriate and which approaches to therapy might be more appropriate, I personally think it's a good idea for the treatment team to be on the same page -in an ideal world, anyway, may end up not being possible.
There seems to be a prevailing attitude these days amongst some psychiatrists and therapists to say 'diagnosis doesn't matter' --I've heard it from different people on different forums (reporting that they've been told this). But at the end of the day they are diagnosing us... so I feel like there's this cyclical reasoning goes on. In any case, if it doesn't matter to them, but matters to the patient, then for that reason alone, I think they should be open to discussing it.
So you could talk to both of them about the diagnostic criteria of the different diagnoses related to what your experiences have been. Maybe in discussing it in more detail you will be able to decide what diagnosis you feel best describes your experience --if your psychiatrist and therapist continue to disagree then this may be the best you can do with the situation.
This sounds a bit frustrating/confusing, I wish you the best of luck.
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