that last post is sort of only the tip of the iceberg, but I read this in a different thread and it definitely sounds like part of my problem:
"People who have a "low sense of self worth" have more difficulty making friends, because they often become too demanding, needy, and require more effort and thought to spend time with. They often "unknowingly" have a series of "negetive chants" that people find "depressing" and so without realizing it they will spend less and less time with that person because they too begin to feel "down".

But when one is so needy, it can be extremely difficult to get out of that...or fix that...how do you fix needing to talk with someone or needing someone/anyone to show that they care?