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It is really difficult to deal with anger issues Lovely. I have a short fuse and when I’m angry I want everyone around me to be as miserable as I am. I’ve worked a long time to keep that particular demon at bay. The only thing that helps is time. When I’m angry I need time alone to calm down. I’ve been married to the same man for nearly 28 years. Sometimes his need to “get things solved” overrides his common sense. I’ve explained to him over and over again, that attempting to reason with me when I am in this mood makes things much worse than if he’d just give me a while to calm down before dealing with it. Human nature I suppose. I have done a lot of work. I realize it is my choice whether or not to get angry. Sometimes I’m even able to take a breath and decide that getting worked up over whatever it is isn’t worth the grief that comes with it.
It does not sound as though this relationship is very healthy. You can’t just stay with someone because you don’t want to hurt them. I hope that you can find the strength to let her that you need to work on yourself right now. You cannot have a healthy relationship until you’re healthy yourself. It has been my experience that when we are in that unhealthy place we are drawn to the unhealthiest person out there. Not someone that would support and help us, but someone whose own issues make ours seem smaller.
Some people just cannot be together. When you bring out the worst in each other it’s time to move on. Good Luck to you.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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